Amazing how a smell can make you cry. Or how light plays beautifully off the walls the same way you remember as a child. Or how the sound of floors creaking enraptures you to better, more hopeful times.

My spirit, though crushed, knows God’s plan is best. It knows He (of course) didn’t lie, and that I simply never heard His voice in the first place.

Losing the ability to visit my friends, or to go on long walks with God in the fields, or watch storms roll by from the front porch, or celebrate Thanksgiving here with my family – it’s almost more than I can handle. I’ll never dwell in the place of these beautiful memories again. This place that feels like home to me.

With a broken heart, and with all the willpower I can muster, I say to the Lord, “Your will be done.”